Page 21 - Fyne winter 2014
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The training and the insight we got from the
social workers and other adopters past and present
was invaluable - If I had one piece of advice it
would be to read as many books as you can find,
talk to as many people as possible and stay strong
as a couple and a family.
As a gay couple, adoption was always our first
option. We never considered surrogacy because
we were so aware of how many children in the
UK desperately needed forever families. We also
only ever considered adopting siblings as the only
option for us. The bond siblings have between
each other is so special and we knew that agencies
find it much harder to find parents for sibling
groups. It is heart-breaking to think about children
being separated from each other unnecessarily.
Also, from a selfish point of view - we wanted to
build our family quickly. We knew we would never
just want one child and didn’t want to go back
through the adoption process again in a couple
of years to find a second child. Now we have our
beautiful two children I can’t even try and imagine
the possibility of them being separated - it is just
too devastating to even consider.
I’ve absolutely loved becoming Pappy to our two
wonderful children and although we’ve adopted
older children we have already had so many
special moments and memories and treasure every
‘first’ and every improvement they’ve both made.
We’ve been able to see them both learn to ride
their bikes without stabilisers, start swimming
without arm bands, the little one start school - the
list goes on.
Everything in our life has changed, in every
possible way. I’ve become a temporary house
husband. I’ve taken 6 months adoption leave from
work and have been looking after our kids full
time. They’re both now in school - so I’ve become
a playground parent too. I’m now the secretary of
the PTA at the kids’ school and a parent volunteer
there for two afternoons a week.
Our house has become like a second hand toy
shop and filled with small pairs of underwear and
countless pairs of pyjamas which seem to be on a
constant stream through the washing machine.
But every change that has happened in our life
is brilliant and exciting. Going from a household
with no kids - to a household with a 4 and 7 year
old overnight has its challenges too, but mostly
we have relished every one. Life will never be the
same again - and we’re so glad that it won’t.”
Rob offers this advice to other members of the
LGBT community
If you want a family, if you love kids and if you’re
ready for the best and most challenging adventure
of your life - then just do it. Don’t think about
how you might be treated because you are from
the LGBT community - just think about how
you’ll be treated as a parent. Think about how
wonderful it will be to have someone call you
Mummy or Daddy (or Pappy in my case). It isn’t a
walk in the park - but it is most definitely worth it.
Adopting our children means having our
dreams
come true -hearing them call us Pappy and
Daddy; getting a kiss and a cuddle on a regular
basis and standing with pride on the school
playground as OUR kids come running out
to greet us with a great big smile at the end
of each school day. We love being a family -
every day is exciting, full on, hard work and
adventurous.
To find out more information, please visit
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